Let's save the easy shit for last. Jesus is awesome. In fact, he's kind of an angry, condescending, bad ass half the time. He's the kind of guy who would tell you to "google it" instead of ripping you a new one for asking a dumb question. He would be the first one to tell you the question you asked was a dumb question, but would also not phrase it in a way that would make you feel bad. At least not initially. Maybe a few days later when you had some time to cool off and think about why you got so angry he didn't just feed you a yes or no. This is going to be a pretty brief post, btw. Jesus loves people, and he loves them so much he won't tell you to go kill yourself, but he will give you all the knowledge you need to know that you should probably go kill yourself, but what makes him awesome is that after you realize you should probably have gone to kill yourself days and years ago, he'll explain to you why your life is worth living. Not necessarily the how. The how part always comes with a little more agency than a blueprint. Therein lies the source of Christianity's bullshit.
God fucking hates you. With a passion. But Jesus loves you. And the holy ghost lives inside, and therefore, is you. And that's how you can pretty much bend and warp whatever your heart desires into the practice of Christianity. It's not a religion. It's a broad based conviction that you can't fuck up. It's micro law. Macro law governs all of the basic things that keep society from self destructing. You can argue that some of it is based in micro law, and you wouldn't be wrong. You wouldn't be right either. I mean, my cats know that life is better when they're not trying to kill, rape, and flimflam each other constantly. That's micro law at work. Macro law simply states it explicitly. Macro law says don't drive too fast because you might kill someone or yourself. Micro law says be nice to other drivers because you would want them to be nice to you in a similar or point for point exact situation. Micro law says you'll get an eternal reward when you die. Macro law says you won't go to jail and can continue to enjoy your freedom while your heart still beats.
That's where Christianity turns to bullshit. Because the bible is so broad and the text so far reaching and universally applicable it is very easy to see whatever you want to see. For fuck's sake there is an old bible and a new bible combined into one book. Half of the practices and principles come from the old book and half from the new. You don't need ten commandments if you love your neighbor as yourself, but you do need ten commandments if you can't love yourself in the first place. You can turn the other cheek as long as people don't take advantage of you, but if they do then it's eye for an eye, right? Depending on how many cheek turnings you have to do? As long as you don't love the abuse and abuse yourself? Or is it that they do not know what they do and everything will come to balance in the revelation? But how funny will that be when every person who ever died is sucked out of the ether of matter for the rapture? I mean people will literally be coming out of the woodwork.
Last thing is this: there is no quick fix for weight loss. All you have to do is get used to being hungry sometimes. It happens. It's normal for 90% of the world. Sometimes you get hungry and sometimes you just have to stay hungry for a while. I don't know, pray on it or something. Eat a whole side of bacon on Wednesday, but don't do it again on Thursday. It's not that hard. It is at first, but it gets a lot easier. Just stop falling for the bullshit. Take the time to unlearn your taste for candy, or soda, or whatever the fuck it is you pound into your face. Do more drugs or run more or sleep more, just stop ingesting every time your body tells you to.
I don't know how anyone takes Christianity seriously. It causes more problems than it solves. I said it before and I'll say it again: if you need religion to live correctly or at least treat yourself and your fellow man, and therefore equal by default on basic grounds, like human beings what you need is not religion. What you need is a damn psychiatrist.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
Cyclists
Walking to the Dollar Store last night I ran into the fun situation of the person riding a mountain bike with handlebars wide enough to cover three quarters of the sidewalk pavement and parked cars along the side of the road so I jumped off onto someone's lawn and then skated back to the sidewalk.
It's not upsetting. It's not annoying. It's not even maddening that as soon as the weather warms up your head has to be on the constant swivel so you don't get mowed down by some asshole riding his bike on the sidewalk. None of those things. This is what I realized: most people learn how to ride bikes on the sidewalk and that simply never changes.
You learn how to ride your bike on the sidewalk. At some point your parents trust that as far as you can get, while riding on sidewalks, is not so far or dangerous that you will end up killing yourself doing something stupid or adolescent. Or they just don't care. So at that point you continue to ride your bike on the sidewalk because it is what you've grown to learn and love as being safe. Completely understandable.
What is also playing into this is the simple fact that your little body can only do so much. You have a naturally enforced speed limit. Hill country aside. There's only so fast that you can go and processing information faster than you are going is an after thought and on top of that, as hard as you could hit someone going full out or as fast as you can possibly go into a blind intersection, is the fact that no matter what you do there will, often enough times to not dissuade people from doing it, be enough time at the moment of crisis to correct or stop short or pound the brakes or bail to save a life.
As you get older and stronger and ride faster and larger bicycles fewer and fewer of the caveats apply. At some point the speed you are going and the rate at which your brain can receive and process light through your eyes exceeds your brain's ability to convert that information into muscle response and adjustment when approaching the hundreds of blind corners that make up the intersections of building corners and crosswalks.
At that point cyclists divide into five groups:
Group 1: kids. Self explanatory. Group 2: people that don't ride on a regular basis and/or people that have lost their license to drive one way or another and can't ride buses and hate walking because everything takes three times longer to do on foot. Group 3: people that don't ride in the street because they think it's dangerous. Group 4: people that don't ride in the street because they believe avoiding people is easier than avoiding cars. Group 5: people that don't ride on the sidewalk because it's way more difficult, dangerous, and their bike is or is becoming an extension of their body.
I don't think that was the fiver I was going for. But I can't remember the fiver that started it so... we're going with that one, until I ramble back. The point is! The point is this: ride your bike wherever you're accustomed, but just be aware of the fact when it arises, before it arises, that your ability to dodge human beings, might not be as good as a driver's ability to dodge you.
It's not upsetting. It's not annoying. It's not even maddening that as soon as the weather warms up your head has to be on the constant swivel so you don't get mowed down by some asshole riding his bike on the sidewalk. None of those things. This is what I realized: most people learn how to ride bikes on the sidewalk and that simply never changes.
You learn how to ride your bike on the sidewalk. At some point your parents trust that as far as you can get, while riding on sidewalks, is not so far or dangerous that you will end up killing yourself doing something stupid or adolescent. Or they just don't care. So at that point you continue to ride your bike on the sidewalk because it is what you've grown to learn and love as being safe. Completely understandable.
What is also playing into this is the simple fact that your little body can only do so much. You have a naturally enforced speed limit. Hill country aside. There's only so fast that you can go and processing information faster than you are going is an after thought and on top of that, as hard as you could hit someone going full out or as fast as you can possibly go into a blind intersection, is the fact that no matter what you do there will, often enough times to not dissuade people from doing it, be enough time at the moment of crisis to correct or stop short or pound the brakes or bail to save a life.
As you get older and stronger and ride faster and larger bicycles fewer and fewer of the caveats apply. At some point the speed you are going and the rate at which your brain can receive and process light through your eyes exceeds your brain's ability to convert that information into muscle response and adjustment when approaching the hundreds of blind corners that make up the intersections of building corners and crosswalks.
At that point cyclists divide into five groups:
Group 1: kids. Self explanatory. Group 2: people that don't ride on a regular basis and/or people that have lost their license to drive one way or another and can't ride buses and hate walking because everything takes three times longer to do on foot. Group 3: people that don't ride in the street because they think it's dangerous. Group 4: people that don't ride in the street because they believe avoiding people is easier than avoiding cars. Group 5: people that don't ride on the sidewalk because it's way more difficult, dangerous, and their bike is or is becoming an extension of their body.
I don't think that was the fiver I was going for. But I can't remember the fiver that started it so... we're going with that one, until I ramble back. The point is! The point is this: ride your bike wherever you're accustomed, but just be aware of the fact when it arises, before it arises, that your ability to dodge human beings, might not be as good as a driver's ability to dodge you.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sir, your passion for bacon has infected me.
Yes. You've propelled little bacon retroviruses into my blood stream and they're injecting their bacon RNA willy nilly into my cells, causing them to explode into rivulets of bacon and pretty soon it's just bacon everywhere, engorging my arteries with crispity crunchity juicilicious goodness.
+10 stamina
Yes. You've propelled little bacon retroviruses into my blood stream and they're injecting their bacon RNA willy nilly into my cells, causing them to explode into rivulets of bacon and pretty soon it's just bacon everywhere, engorging my arteries with crispity crunchity juicilicious goodness.
+10 stamina
Sunday, January 10, 2010
insolvent
always wanted to use that word in a sentence. is that what this project is? sort of officially? let me look up the word...
...ah okay. yeah. i think it might be. hilarious though its also what i am. yay. get back to me.
...ah okay. yeah. i think it might be. hilarious though its also what i am. yay. get back to me.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
big moments
big moments in video games. I love love looove those jaw dropping moments in video games where you come upon a situation or weapon or solution or character who is just so ridiculously inetense so unimaginably expansive so incredibily enormous that you just look, dumb found at your screen, fingers off the triggers, and you just look and you shake your head, and you know in those 30 seconds that all of it, every fingertip bleeding, red eye exam failing, dinner missing, left practice early, didn't bother to return any phone calls in the last 24 hours moment... all of it was worth it
Sunday, August 16, 2009
mission statements
completed. though unnecessary at times. i feel better about myself. and isnt that why we do anything?
why so many
why so many blogs. why so fucking many. some clarification needs to happen pronto. or as my fat nemesis in middle school sad for a while till it got stale even to his cool than thou friends "stat". few days went by that i didnt want to kill him. but thats beside the point. mission statements follow
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