lonely as a boy in a well

im lonely. ill admit it. but at least my keyboard isnt fucked up anymore. im nervous about the future, my future. im on the edge of graduating and there's a part of me thats scared about what's supposed to come next. how am i going to get a job? a car? a family? why cant i take the next step? is it because the next step is so ambiguous or is it beccause im genuinely not ready yet? i feel ready.

fields of lightning like blades of grass
to my ear, lieing on my side and feeling
the pulse of the treeless hill
that tries to hide me from the weather.

i mailed in my voucher for a plane ticket
months ago and im still waiting
for some kind of confirmation;
i count for something these days, right?

the sun set something like 12 hours ago
but the sky still reflects city light
like a bitch
and obscures my grandest of grandiose visions.

not that vision counts for much
without moonlight these days
so i try to forget why i came out
in the first place. its lonely here.